FDA Approves Depressant Drug For The Annoyingly Cheerful

eillem123 Says:

Feb 2, 2012 - I am in SHOCK - a DRUG to STOP someone from being HAPPY????? This is the SICKEST thing I have EVER heard of!!! I LOVE to be around POSITIVE PEOPLE!!! They give the rest of us a REASON to strive to better ourselves and to be more like them! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THIS COUNTRY when being HAPPY is somehow WRONG???!!!??!!??!

kissmybabytwo Says:

Feb 2, 2012 - @eillem123 , this is a sign of the Apocalypse. :) relax, it's just a joke, the onion is new york based humorous newspaper that makes fun of mass-media.

metrikal1 Says:

Feb 3, 2012 - I like to take these to level out my prozac personality. Mixing them turns you into an emotionally even zombie, which is perfect for my line of work as a corporate slave. I'm surprised pfizer didn't come up with this sooner.

TheJanisam Says:

Feb 3, 2012 - @Thefreeheart I could say the same to you.. its a joke, get a life

imaminxkitty Says:

Feb 3, 2012 - Well at least people who are depressed aren't the only ones with a problem.

WindsorRose1 Says:

Feb 3, 2012 - Cool Beans!

DomenicDee Says:

Feb 3, 2012 - FUNNY STUFF!

1deathmetalfriek1 Says:

Feb 3, 2012 - they should give that to Kristen stewart

speedsurfer123 Says:

Feb 3, 2012 - @Punkutatvidz i thought the same thing=D

speedsurfer123 Says:

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kingofamericans Says:

Feb 3, 2012 - @kissmybabytwo what's up with everyone thinking this is fake? It's serious.

ZetaPezio Says:

Feb 4, 2012 - "The natural way to feel shitty: Junk Food And Sitting On Your Ass!" LOL!!! Funny shit that only people who have a clue can laugh about!!!!

cappygolucky Says:

Feb 4, 2012 - What the fucking hell

Pangolinx1 Says:

Feb 4, 2012 - I'm going to watch this again, and again, and again, and again. I am so _ing sick of the happy police telling me to cheer up the assholes.

11Tigeress11 Says:

Feb 5, 2012 - Seriously this should be handed to every audience member of the Ellen Degeneres Show lol

atmancloud Says:

Feb 5, 2012 - Really!! Do they really want people depressed. Oh I get it, then when the drug they sold to get them depressed they can go on and sell them the drug for depression. Man what has are we becoming....

luckydog13423 Says:

Feb 6, 2012 - 162 people are annoyingly cheerful

JimHinCO Says:

Feb 6, 2012 - OMG! I say "cool beans" and give hugs all the time...talk about hitting me hard! Thank gawd it's the Onion!

martimmy7 Says:

Feb 7, 2012 - Holy crap...She used to be a cnn anchor!

FrizzySpackleroni Says:

Feb 8, 2012 - Would these be safe for persons under 18 years of age? I happen to know a 3 year old who has been over the limit of content for at least 4 hours now and it's slightly unsettling, apart from the youth she so adamantly takes advantage of.

johnnyfatty Says:

Feb 8, 2012 - @superdumbshit dude dont be stupid.this is obviously fake and your obviously a idiot

Pingvindosis Says:

Feb 8, 2012 - Fake. What kind of serious medical research doctor would use the term "pretty fucking annoying" about these "patients".

JoelThedude4u Says:

Feb 8, 2012 - @Pingvindosis Research " the onion news"

Wuutzorx Says:

Feb 10, 2012 - @Pingvindosis no shit. g1

HesBehindYou44 Says:

Feb 11, 2012 - @Pingvindosis YOU DON'T SAY!