onion

This Week In History: Sears Tower Constructed With Bold Challenge To God Engraved On Roof

The Onion reflects on the discovery of the first lesbian, the joyous Hindenburg explosion, and the Sears Tower's challenge to God. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com

Obama Win Causes Obsessed Backers To See How Empty Lives Are

The revelation that Obama's candidacy was the only thing that gave their lives any meaning has caused many supporters to wander aimlessly, unsure of what to do with themselves.

Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere

Excruciating up-to-the-minute coverage of some irrelevant bullshit story that has no ramifications whatsoever.

Behind The Pen: How Marriage Works

Onion editorial cartoonist Stan Kelly is one of the world's top opinion-makers. He gets up close and personal in this new video series. See the cartoon, Holy Matri-Money, here: onion.com Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com

Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized

The parents of 13-year old Caitlin Teagart have decided to end her life, saying she can now do nothing but lay on the couch and whine about things being "gay." Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com

Pop Star's Single, 'Booty Wave', Most Likely Civilization's Downfall

Multi-millionaire pop sensation, K'ronikka, appears on Today Now! completely unaware that she is responsible for the deterioration of civilized society. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com

Woman Sets Record For Longest Amount Of Time Spent Talking About Oneself

Today Now! welcomes Linda Johnston, the inspiring woman who made history by talking about herself continuously for over fifty hours. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com

'9/11 Conspiracy Theories Ridiculous' - Al Qaeda

An Al Qaeda representative says that claims the US government was behind the attacks on Sept. 11th are demeaning to Al Qaeda. More coverage at: onion.com

Domino's Tests Limits Of What Humans Will Eat

Despite ethical concerns about testing on humans, researchers say their work was necessary to determine the boundary between garbage and food.

Supreme Court: Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass'

Despite arguments against capital punishment, the Justices overwhelmingly approved its use, especially if they get to participate in some executions.

'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Made Into Feature Film

Fans are worried that the feature film adaptation of the beloved trailer won't live up to the original 90-second story's vision. More coverage at: onion.com

12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Offer To Give Breast Exams

Two prospective Eagle Scouts explain how they are preventing breast cancer by helping women examine their breasts.

Booker T & the MG's - green onions - mod classic 60s

Al Qaeda Attacks Internet With Photo Of Adorable Piglet

Full coverage tonight at 10/9c only on IFC TV. The irresistibly cute photo was forwarded millions of times before servers collapsed. Original photo: yfrog.com

How to Charge an iPod using electrolytes and an onion

In this episode we show you how to charge your iPod (or other mp3 player) for up to 20 minutes using electrolytes derived from Gatorade or Powerade which are then stored within the cells of an onion. You will need: 1. 1 White onion 2. 2 cups of Gatorade 3. Screwdriver 4. iPod and USB cableDisclaimer: As with this experiment and all other HouseHold Hacker videos. We cannot be held responsible for damage or mistakes made if attempting the experiments. These projects are for demonstration purposes only and should not be attempted at home. Note: *This video is a parody*

How to Chop an Onion

Onions can lend a sweet distinct undertone to many soups, sauces, and stews. For more great videos check out: www.goodhousekeeping.com More from the World of Good Housekeeping: www.goodhousekeeping.com Subscribe to Good Housekeeping: subscribe.hearstmags.com -

Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election

Our morning show's political correspondent offers tips on how you can seem informed about politics without picking up a single newspaper.

CIA's "Facebook" Program Dramatically Cut Agency's Costs

from Onion News Network Season 1 Episode 9

Multiple Stab Wounds May Be Harmful To Monkeys

Repeatedly stabbing monkeys with sharpened objects may have an adverse effect on their health, according to a new study. More coverage at: onion.com

Booker T & the MG 's - Green Onions (Original / HQ audio)

Exactly what the title says. :)

Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters

For a majority of likely voters, meaningless bullshit will be the most important factor in deciding who they will vote for in 2008. More coverage at: onion.com

Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole?

With the economy sliding deeper into a recession, panelists discuss whether it's time to stop throwing our money into a massive pit out in the desert.

Romney's Super Tuesday Polls Surge After He Begins Flaunting His Wealth

Instead of downplaying his millionaire status, Mitt Romney is now wearing fur coats and gold chains. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com

All Online Data Lost After Internet Crash

Breaking News, officials confirm that all online data has been lost after the Internet crashed and was forced to restart. More coverage at: www.onion.com

Are We Giving Robots Too Much Power?

Panelists discuss whether controversial decisions by the Robot Congress and President Executron indicate robots have too much control over our lives. More coverage at: onion.com

Onion Moon Landing

The Moon Landing with swearing. Lots of swearing

World Premiere Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 - The Onion

Google+: plus.google.com Facebook: www.facebook.com Twitter: twitter.com Name: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 Release date: November 8, 2011 Platform(s): PC, PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 Publisher(s): Activision Blizzard Developer(s): Infinity Ward and Sledgehammer Games

Blockbuster Offers Glimpse Of Movie Renting Past

The Blockbuster Video Living Museum offers tourists a glimpse of how Americans rented movies before the advent of services like Netflix and iTunes. More coverage at: onion.com

HOW TO MAKE ONION RINGS

Nicko makes you his beer batter onion rings! NICKOS DAILY VIDEO DIARY www.youtube.com TWITTER: www.twitter.com FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com NICKOS T-SHIRTS www.zazzle.com.au Ingredients 190g (1 1/4 cups) plain flour 1/2 tsp baking powder Pinch of salt 1 x 375ml btl chilled beer Vegetable oil, to deep-fry 4 medium (about 720g) white onions, cut into rings, rings separated Sea salt flakes

How to Make a Fried Onion Blossom

Expand the description and view the text of the steps for this how-to video. Check out Howcast for other do-it-yourself videos from lorishe09 and more videos in the Side Dishes category. You can contribute too! Create your own DIY guide at www.howcast.com or produce your own Howcast spots with the Howcast Filmmakers Program at www.howcast.com The fried onion blossom is a classic American appetizer -- and it's as fun to make as it is to eat! To complete this How-To you will need: 2 large sweet onions 1 tsp. Cajun seasoning 1 1/4 c. all-purpose flour 1 c. 2 percent milk Oil for frying Dipping sauce A medium-size kitchen knife A 1-gallon plastic bag A small mixing bowl A deep frying pan Ranch, chipotle pepper, or Italian seasoning. Step 1: Remove the outer skin of the onions and cut a small slice off the tops, leaving the roots intact. Step 2: Make vertical cuts about 1/8 inch apart, stopping about half an inch from the bottom. Repeat with the second onion. Step 3: Turn the onion so the slices you made are horizontal. Continue making small cuts one-eighth of an inch apart until you've created a checkerboard pattern across the top of the onion. Repeat with the second onion. Step 4: Place the flour and Cajun seasoning into the plastic bag and shake to combine. Add an onion into the bag and shake until it's completely covered in the flour mixture. Tip: You can use other seasonings too, like ranch, chipotle pepper, or Italian. Step 5: Place the milk in a small bowl and dip the ...

Green onion pancake

www.maangchi.com I picked some wild green onions in Inwood Hill Park and made this pancake. You can use any type of green onions for this. Enjoy the recipe! Ingredients (for 1 rectangular pancake about 6×7 inches): Green onions, flour, water, soybean paste, sugar, and vegetable oil. Directions: 1. Clean, wash, and drain a handful of wild green onions (or about 10 stalks of normal green onion). 2. Cut them into 5 inch long pieces. 3. Make batter by mixing ½ cup flour, ½ cup water, 1 ts soybean paste, and ½ ts sugar in a bowl. Mix well until the batter is smooth. 4. Place a non-stick pan on the stove and heat it up. 5. Add about 3 tbs vegetable oil to the heated pan. 6. Put the green onion on the pan parallel to each other, in the shape of a rectangle. 7. Pour the batter over the green onion evenly. *tip: If you want some seafood (chopped squid, mussels or fresh oysters) in your pancake add it on top of the green onion before pouring the batter. 8. While the pancake is being cooked, keep patting it, pressing it slightly, and keeping it in a nice shape with your spatula. 9. A few minutes later, when the bottom of the pancake turns crispy and golden brown, turn it over. 10. Cook a few more minutes until the bottom of the pancake turns crispy and golden brown again, and flip it or turn it over. 11. Cook another minute and transfer it to a serving plate. 12. Serve hot with sauce. For the sauce, mix these ingredients in a small bowl: 2 tbs soy sauce, 1 tbs vinegar, 1 ts sugar or ...

Four American Troops Tragically Killed Along With 23 Afghanis

Autistic reporter Michael Falk reports it is bad that four US soldiers died but it is good that nearly two dozen Taliban soldiers died. (Aired 10/18/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com

Gordon Ramsay: How to Chop an Onion

Learn to chop onion without getting teary; Gordon shows us how I do not own nor am I the creator of this video - all rights and licensing belong to Optomen Television and/or Channel 4 UK.

Disney Geneticists Debut New Child Stars

Disney claims its latest batch of child stars is so lifelike, youll barely be able to tell they have no souls.

Heartbroken Santorum Condemns Gay Marriage For Two-Timing Jerks Like Nick

An emotional Rick Santorum stepped up his anti-gay rhetoric this week, saying jerks like Philadelphia's Nicholas Wiseman should not be allowed to marry a man they barely know when there's someone out there who truly cares for them. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com

Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 08 Election

Embarrassed Diebold officials apologized after one of their electronic voting machines prematurely revealed the winner of our upcoming sham election. More coverage at: onion.com

Ninja Parade Slips By Town Unnoticed Once Again

Modesto, CA residents turned out for the city's annual Ninja Parade, where no ninjas were seen for the 30th year in a row. More coverage at: www.onion.com

Crispy Onion Rings Recipe - How to Make Crispy Onion Rings

Learn how to make the Crispy Onion Rings Recipe! Get the ingredients here: foodwishes.blogspot.com - Visit foodwishes.com to get more info, and watch over 350 free video recipes. Thanks and enjoy!

Portrayal Of Obama As Snob Hailed As Step Forward For Blacks

Overjoyed civil rights leaders say that Barack Obama has paved the way for future black politicians to be smeared as country club snobs.

Harry James - Green Onions

Harry James playing Green Onions, 1965. Buddy Rich on drums.

Immigration: The Human Cost

A report on immigration from the Onion News Network.

Did Media Treat Bachmann Unfairly Because She's An Insane Woman

The First Responders debate whether the media is harder on Michele Bachmann because she is a woman who is crazy. (Aired 11/1/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com

FRENCH ONION SOUP

Jack Scalfani shows you how to make one of his favorite soups. Be sure to subscribe. check out his new channel "Jack on the Go" youtube.com French Onion Soup 1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter 6 onions (about 3 pounds), sliced 6 garlic cloves, sliced 1/2 cup dry white wine 3 cups canned low-salt chicken broth 3 cups canned beef broth 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard 4 sourdough bread slices, toasted 1 cup grated Swiss cheese 1/2 cup grated Parmesan Melt butter in heavy large saucepan over medium heat. Add onions and garlic and saut? until very tender and brown, about 45 minutes. Add wine and simmer until reduced to glaze, about 3 minutes. Stir in chicken broth, beef broth and mustard. Simmer 20 minutes. Season to taste with salt and pepper. (Can be prepared 1 day ahead. Refrigerate. Return soup to simmer before continuing.) Preheat broiler. Ladle soup into broilerproof bowls. Top each with slice of toast and grated cheeses. Broil until cheeses melt and bubble.

'Gays Too Precious To Risk In Combat'

Gen. McBrayer discusses how valuable homosexuals are, and why we must never put their lives at risk by allowing them in the military. More coverage at: onion.com

The Onion Movie Trailer

This just in...The Onion invades DVD! Based on the wildly popular satirical newspaper hailed by The New Yorker as "the funniest publication in the United States," The Onion Movie brings you uncensored, uninhibited, UNRATED news and views from around the world... Taking aim at pop stars, party games, prisoners and peace talks, The Onion Movie delivers hard-hitting headlines—and side-splitting laughs! Check out: theonionmovie.wordpress.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oliver Onions - Flying Through The Air + LYRICS!

WATCH MY VIDEO "THE FANTASTIC OCEANS - MOVIN' CRUISIN' " TOO, PLEASE. :D Oliver Onions - Flying Through The Air The famous theme of "Più forte, ragazzi!". Maybe the most famous of all Bud Spencer/Terence Hill-movies! Das berühmte Lied von "Zwei Himmelhunde auf dem Weg zur Hölle". Vielleicht sogar das bekannteste Lied aller Bud Spencer/Terence Hill-Filme! Enjoy! ;) LYRICS: Flying through the air side by side we dip bend and climb Flying through the air so free Feel them left behind below us Flying through the air Mad old you and me We are going at just for kicks for kicks you'll see That they'll wish they were you Right along here with me You and me. Climbing through the sky Leaving all our thoughts far away CIimbing feel the stars up here Touch your eyes and fall beside you Side by side we soar Me and you just glide We are gaming in a fall a fall a fall we feel But it's all in your mind As we turn round and climb Right back here. (Oh oh oh oh...) Great white silver bird Soars again to catch Good old mister sun who hides who hides who hides for fun But it's all in the game Life is still all the same (Oh oh oh oh...)